February 1, 2012

Adoption Story part I

(miles' little hand on day 4)

A little insight and background:

When we started this process we were warned that as a new adoptive couple online we would get lots of "hits" on our profile, and receive some emails. We were also warned that it is common that we will probably get emails from birth mothers and never hear from them again.

And so the story begins:

Back in July we received our first email from a birth mother who was 13-14 weeks along in her pregnancy. Her email was short and nothing promising. Just a question or two. But, it literally took us all day to answer that email. Romney and I sat in our office trying to answer everything perfectly. We sent off our email knowing there was a birth mother interested enough in us to email. We checked our email everyday excited to hear the response but....NOTHING. We decided that we weren't going to get our hopes up and to let it go. A week and a half later we got another email from her. She asked a few questions more. Again we took a whole day answering it. Two weeks went by.... and nothing. We decided to let it go once more. But lo and behold after 3 weeks, we got another email!

After the third email, I called my caseworker to see if we could get a little more detail on who this girl was. When I called our caseworker, she actually had just got off the phone with the the birth mothers caseworker. We were told she was really interested in us and another couple.

It worked out with Romneys work schedule that we could meet this little couple the following week. So we drove 10 hours to meet the girl who could be potential carrying our baby.

We finally made it to our destination with goodies to give and a whole bunch of butterflies swimming in our stomach.

I was so nervous. All who know me, know I have the gift of gab. But not this time. I sat awkward and quiet. Romney did so good doing the talking. I was just so nervous. I just wanted this couple to like me. The face to face meeting lasted a couple of hours and the caseworker chimed in stating it was time to wrap it up and that we could continue to build a relationship through email if that was wanted.

We came home surprisingly feeling calm. A week after our face to face we received another email. They told us that they liked meeting us and felt comfortable talking with us. We started writing emails more frequently, and learned more about each other. On September 27th, we found out that this couple officially had chosen us to adopt their baby. We also found out baby was a boy!

We were so humbled and excited. We wrote back with humility and gratitude accepting their proposal. Daily we checked our inbox awaiting their response. Weeks went by and we hadn't heard anything. I called our caseworker concerned that we hadn't heard from our birth mother in a while, but she calmed all my nerves and had an excuse for everything.

A few days before October 16th, I had a very strong feeling that our birth mother was going to change her mind and our adoption profile would be back online. And on October 16th, we got the phone call from our caseworker telling us that our birth mother had changed her mind. She decided she wanted to parent. The tender mercy was that my mind was ready, and my heart had been prepared.

On the 17th of October our profile was back up online and we had experienced our first failed adoption.


LisaB said...

Erin....you left me hanging! Can't wait for Part II. Your story is so beautiful. Just like your family. I think of you daily and couldn't be happier for you and Romney. I love when good things happen to good people. Miles. What a little love. You're a mom, Erin!!! How beautiful is that?!? Looking forward to hearing the rest of your story. And enjoying all the photos you've been sharing with us! Every one is so very precious and sweet of Miles. So glad you have shared your journey with us.

Piper said...

I know that your heart had to be breaking, regardless of being prepared. That last line is breaking MY heart, even after knowing you already have little Miles at home with you. I know there is more to the story, both good and bad, and I am so glad that you are sharing.

Love to the THREE of you!

Christy said...

Ooooo, I've been eagerly anticipating this post! And for Pete's sake post MORE pics of that gorgeous boy! C'mon! It's not like u are completely exhausted or anything!

megan&steve said...

You write so well Erin, I swear I can hear you talking as I read these. Thank you for sharing so much of your story. Really.

Heather G said...

I dont think you could be awkward if you TRIED! You are so fun and easy to talk to. Glad you had Romney to be your rock during that meeting though :) What a cliff hanger of a story! Can't wait to see more beautiful photos of your baby boy and hear how he came into your loving and well deserving arms!