October 11, 2015

Andies' Adoption Story Part II

(the weekend we found out we had been chosen by our birthmother)

We came back to California with a pretty fun secret.
It didn't seem real, but it was still a very fun secret. 

Within a couple of days we had been in contact with the agency about what was going to happen next.
They told us that our birthmom marked on her paper work that she was open to texting once a week with the adoptive couple that she chose.
I was so nervous about that.
We are not new to adoption, but, texting with a birthmom was new to us.
So, over the course of 18 weeks we began texting about once, sometimes twice a week.
Sometimes, it was a quick "have a great day" and sometimes we had long conversations.
We asked each other questions and learned about each other.
She always told us how her dr. appointments went.
She asked us what names we were thinking about, how the nursery was coming along, and she constantly told us how happy she was for us.

With adoption you never know what the outcome will be.
So I didn't want to put together a nursery.
I didn't want to get attached and then be heart broken.
I was talking with my sister one day and she said "JUST DO IT!"
So, I did.
Against everything I believed, I did.
But to be safe....I made it gender natural with black and white. 
It was so fun prepping for little miss in that back bedroom.
It helped me love her, it helped time go by, and it helped me not be consumed with all the crazy adoption emotions. 
 (Andies nursery)

When our birthmom hit her 30 week mark, panic set in.
My "honey do" list go longer, I started washing the blinds, baseboards, cleaning out cupboards, organizing the pantry, and started talking about it with Miles.

(Miles helped build, clean and helped with making and freezing cookie dough) 

When she was 35 weeks pregnant we were in Park City, Utah for my Dads 70th Birthday and had the chance to meet up with our birthmother again.
We met in Salt Lake for lunch where we visited for hours.
At the end of lunch we talked about "the plan".
We hugged, and with a big full term pregnant belly in between us and she said
 "okay, I'll call you when I go in to labor."
That was that.
I was excited, and nervous, I doubted, and I was confident in her all rolled into one.
I wanted a crystal ball so badly to know if she really was going to call, and that this really was going to happen.

At 38 weeks pregnant, just two weeks from her due date,  Romney was packing up to go to a swift water rescue class and would be gone from Sunday - Friday.
A full week.
I was kinda scared she was going to go into labor while he was away.
So we made a plan ourselves.
I texted our birthmom to see how she was feeling and let her know Romney was gone for the week and to let her know we had a plan.
During that week he was gone my house got cleaned, cookie dough was made in put in the freezer, I detailed the car, the car seat got cleaned, the swing, bouncy seat and stroller got cleaned.
I stayed up late every night finishing up the rest of my nesting projects.
Wednesday I got a text from her telling me her swelling was super bad, and that she had to buy compression socks and bigger shoes.
My mom wondered preeclampsia when I told her. 
But, no one else seemed worried. 
So, I wasn't. 

Friday late afternoon Romney made it home and jumped into the pool where he found us when he returned.
I was relieved he got to go to his class for work and not have to leave early.
That Saturday we ran a ton of errands and had two weddings to attend.
We were both so tired but glad all the things got done that day.
Sunday mornings are usually low key around here but this particular Sunday, we both were busy.
Romney bathed the dog, I did ALL of the laundry, washed the diaper bag, wiped down the cupboards etc...
And we did all that before 1:00 church.
It was 3:30 when my phone vibrated while I was in my church class.
It was my sister, so I pressed the button that sent her to voicemail.
It vibrated again, so I sent it to voicemail once more.
A few minutes later, I flipped my phone around and saw that the second phone call wasn't from my sister, it had been from our birthmother.
My heart skipped a beat then started pounding!
I had my 12-13 year old girls end the class and I listened to my voicemail.
Her message told us that they found protein in her urine and that she had preeclampsia.
She then said that she would be getting induced that night and to please call her!
I ran to Romney and wide eyed said "we gotta go, she called!"
I called my sister freaking out and she said "it's okay, you're ready"
She was right.
 We drove quickly to a home that had been cleaned, a dog that had been bathed, laundry that had been washed, a diaper bag ready to be packed, and a car seat 100% ready to be installed.
We were ready.
My dear friend Rachel came over immediately to help me pack and to help me see clearly.
 I was kinda a hot mess.
She unloaded my dishwasher, got my dog sitter  taken care of, and told me
"I want you to know, this is JUST as exciting as going into labor personally".
I really appreciated that comment, because I felt that way.
I was excited.
 (My friend Rachel in the back came to my rescue and Alyssa came to dog sit. They were heaven sent)

We called my mom and said "we're on our way" and headed for Utah at 7pm.
We called our families and closest friends when we got on the freeway to let them know and asked for all the prayers that they could muster because joy and hurt was on the horizon.