Adoption Story part III

(Our first diaper change with Miles in the hospital)

Friday January 27, 2012

10:00 am:
We walked through the doors of the hospital ready to sign papers and start the next phase in life.
We followed the pink and blue footprint stickers on the floor up to the labor and delivery wing.
We were welcomed by our couples' caseworker and our advocate for the day, who were waiting in the waiting room.
We were told that our couple wanted 1o minutes alone with baby boy before they signed.
After 15 minutes or so the birth father walked out of the doors with sadness in his eyes and told us...
"I don't think she's going to do it."
My heart sank.
This was not happening.
The two caseworkers went through those doors to talk to her and see what was going on.
We sat in the waiting room with the birth father and visited.
He apologized and was ready to sign those documents.
After 45 minutes of talking with him and wondering what was going on, a man and girl walked swiftly through the waiting room and whisked behind those steel doors.
It was the birth moms dad and sister.
Minutes later her mom joined them.

11:30am
Our advocate came out and said,
"it's not lookin good guys."

Everyone was instructed to leave her alone for 30 minutes.
No family, no caseworkers, no birth father...no one.
Just her with her thoughts for 30 minutes.
We went downstairs to the cafeteria with the two caseworkers and the birth father.
We listened to them talk about getting a car seat and where the baby would go.
We talked about putting our profile back online.
It was not fun!
When we headed back up stairs I whispered in the caseworkers ear that we wanted to go home.
I said we already know her answer and we don't want to do this anymore.
She whispered back "but, you don't know what she is going to do."


12:00pm
The caseworkers and birth father went back in to see what was the latest,
and the birth mothers mom came out to the waiting room crying.
So...I took a deep breath and
walked over to her.
I introduced myself to her, hugged her and began to cry with her.
We wiped our faces and sat down in the waiting room and talked for 30-45 minutes.
Then the birth mothers dad came out and we introduced ourselves to him.
We did more talking.
Lots and lots of talking.

2:30/3:00pm
The caseworkers come out explaining that she is considering placing baby boy for adoption again.
This time her family took the long trip down to the cafeteria and we waited upstairs.
We were starved and started munching on goldfish that I had in my bag.
Even our advocate was putting her hands in the bag for a snack.
Our advocate was great.
Every time those big hospital metal doors flung open she would stand up, and look down the hall for any sign.
Sometimes she would see the birth father sitting outside the birth mothers door, sometimes she would see the other caseworker standing outside too and sometimes she saw nothing.

3:30pm
The parents come back up from the cafeteria and we visited some more.
We sat there vulnerable, and of course I got emotional.
We all shared how grateful we were that we got to meet each other.
Her mom stood up and said,
"This is enough, she needs to make a decision."
She went in that room and didn't come back out.


4:00ish
We all found out that she was looking over documents and things were looking like they might be moving forward in our favor.
I looked at her dad and through my tears told him that
we had been trying for a a family for years.
That we have fasted and prayed for this,
and that we would love this baby.
In a very loving voice he said,
"I have no doubt."

5:30pm
Birth moms entire family showed up to the hospital.
We all just sat and waited together and watched paint dry.
Wondering what was going to happen.
Romney and I watched her whole family interact, we watched her adorable niece jump into grandpa arms.
We had bonded in a waiting room for hours.
We all were anxiously waiting.
All of us having our own hopes for the final decision.

finally at 6:00pm
Those steel doors opened, and the birth mothers mom came out sobbing.
"It's done, she signed."
We stood up and saw a family come together in tears and sadness.
Her dad hugged us and congratulated us.
He did not have to do that, but we were so appreciative of that seemingly small thing.
But it wasn't small, it was huge.
He hugged us.
Our advocate removed us from the situation quickly and we followed her into a back room
where I started to cry.
It had been a very long day and I just witnessed a family ache on our behalf.

6:15pm
We started signing papers and initialing here, here and here.

6:30pm
We were sitting alone- just the two of us in a tiny corner room in a hospital, waiting to go see our new baby in the nursery.
The birth father came in with tears and asked us to please take care of baby boy.
We hugged him and thanked him and gave him gifts.
One for him and one for her.
Originally, the birth mother didn't want to see us, but to our surprise, after she signed the papers she had a change of heart.

6:40pm
Our birth mother walked in the door.
She looked beautiful.
She looked sweet.
She was holding the cutest baby I had ever seen.
It was silent while we exchanged a hug full of gratitude.
She sat next to me for a minute and gave some specific instructions and she handed me the baby.
My hands were shaking as she placed this baby boy in my arms.
And before I turned around, she was already gone.

We sat in that corner room with a new baby in my lap, with nurses telling us how to parent, feed and change diapers.



6:50pm
We walked out of the room with a baby in a car seat.
All the nurses were gathered together at the nurses station with smiles and saw us off.
We got in the car and could finally breathe.
We talked about our day.

And this is our outlook:

It had to happen this way!
Papers had to be signed Friday.
There was no other way it could have worked.
We had to meet her parents and they had to meet us.
We know that Heavenly Father had a hand in this whole process.
We know angels were in that room to help her sign.
We are sure that was the hardest time she will ever have signing her own name.
It didn't matter that it took 4 days.
This was how is was supposed to be.
We are so amazed that our birth mother and birth father had the strength and love
to bless us with this opportunity.
We love them and will be forever grateful for their selflessness.