Andies Adoption Story Part III

We got into St. George at 2:00am, we were so tired. 

When our alarm was going off at 6:00 I saw that there was a text from our birth mom that she sent at 3:00am. 

She said she was barely dilated to a 3 and to take our time.

So, we went back to bed.

We had a slow morning (I will take full responsibility for the slowness), mom and I went through all the baby things she had bought and made.

Mid morning we finally got into the car and waved goodbye to my boy who kind of looked confused as to why we were leaving him.

We were only in the car an hour when our birth mom texted and asked where we were.

She said she was at a 5 and that the doctor thought she'd be pushing by 5pm(ish)

Our GPS said we'd be there at 3:00--we had time!

30-40 minutes later she texted again saying she was at a 7.

Then 30 minutes later she texted that she was at a 9!

I was freaking out.

I was texting our family and friends dying that we were not there yet.

Then we didn't hear from her.

We were getting updates frequently and then NOTHING.....

Then we got the following text:

 We were dying!!!

She sent us this picture.

 I just stared at her for hours as we drove as fast as we could,

and I fell in love.

We got to the hospital and rushed up to the labor and delivery floor.

Our birth mom was still in her delivery room and they let us in to see her.

We hugged our birth mom and she quickly informed us that Andie was in the nursery.

Miss Andie girl had fluid in her lungs, a fast respiratory rate and a fever.

They wanted her on antibiotics for 48 hours while they ran cultures and wanted to watch her closely for the fluid and breathing.

Our birth mom kicked us out pretty fast telling us to get to the nursery and to be with Andie. 

(words cannot describe how amazing she is) 

We were introduced to the nurses and they gave us a wrist band.

We went down the hall to the nursery where we flashed our wrist band and walked into a quiet, peaceful room with a blonde baby sleeping in it.

My heart melted.

I was finally meeting the little girl we had be waiting for for the last 2.5 years.

After her second dose of antibiotics we got to hold her.

She was tiny.

She was perfect.

She was heaven sent.

I was praying her little spirit would understand this complex situation and know I was her mommy.

I prayed she would respond to my voice.

I prayed she would be at peace with her placement into my arms.

We spent 5 days in the nursery where we watched her wean off the IV machine, eat more, wake up and work out all the extra fluid in her lungs. 

We loved the nurses and staff who made two extra chairs for us as comfortable as possible.

During the 5 day stay there were ups and downs.

I will leave that out of the story for respect for our birth mothers family.

But ultimately we know it is the mothers decision to place her child for adoption and no one else.

Despite any of the downs, we always felt peace and knew Andie was meant to be in our family.

 Every.Single.Time we spoke with our birth mom she reaffirmed her decision and told us how confident she was.

We just had to endure.

The night before our birth mom was to go in front of the judge to relinquish her rights my heart was sad.  

Even though this is what she wanted, what she chose, what she thought about for 9 months, my momma heart felt for her. 

She was a mom who loved her baby.

Thursday morning we kissed Andie goodbye and left for the courthouse where her birth mother would sign the adoption papers.

We waited outside a court room quietly wondering what was going to happen. 

The attorney called our birth mother away to go over some things.

While she was gone,
Our birthmothers mom told me it was calm at their house that morning and that she was at peace.

Finally, there was peace in their souls.

Prayers were answered.

The attorney returned for one second and told us the judge was ready for them.

So we again waited outside the courtroom.

Wondering what was going to be the outcome.

Was she really going to sign?

Eventually the big brown doors opened and our birth mother walked out and congratulated us.

I just hugged her!

Then it was our turn to stand in front of the judge.

I felt small and vulnerable, so I just cried as the judge told us how strong and brave our birth mother was and how beautiful adoption was.

We went back to the hospital to be with OUR baby.

She was really ours!

Friday morning Andie decided to finally gain weight, wake up and be perfect.

She was able to be discharged.

She just needed to be ours before she could show off.

We called our birth mother to tell her the exciting news and asked her to join us for a while.

We sat alone in a room together, the three of us and baby Andie.

She held Andie and told us all the reasons why she placed Andie for adoption.

She told us what life she wanted for her.

She told us that Andie was ours and was always supposed to be.

I sat there and cried.

Lots of tears in adoption I tell ya. 

We had an amazing, very personal conversation with her that I will always cherish.

After we were discharged we went to lunch with our birthmother and her mom.

We had a great meal and were just waiting for the phone call to go back to court where we would stand in front of the judge again but with Andie.

We got word to be at the court in an hour and that it was time to wrap things up with lunch.

I got Andie out of her car seat and handed her over to her birth mom.

We took pictures and my heart just ached for her.

She looked at her baby with smiles and sadness.

She kissed her one more time and gave her to me.

I cried and cried and hugged her.

We wiped our tears and walked to our separate cars.

We got in the car and I immediately texted her "I love you" and then cried again.

I know what a mothers love is now and my sensitivity towards her just hurt.

I called my mom and tried to explain that I felt like I was taking her baby-- but I wasn't, but I was, but I really wasn't.
I felt guilt, but joy.
I was just a ball of all sorts of emotions.

We drove to the court house once more and were presented to the judge.

She met Andie and we signed papers alone with one witness in the room.

No one knew where we were or what we were doing.

But we were in Utah adding to our family, experiencing emotions that we didn't know existed, we were growing as a couple, and having life experiences added to our resume.

This was the plan all along.

This was what needed to happen to allow our family to grow.

I wouldn't trade any of it.

Adoption is hard.

It is messy.

But it is beautiful.

It is selfless.

It is love.