A few years ago I was decorating the Christmas tree.
I love decorating the tree, it's one of my favorite things to do.
Romney was taking a nap upstairs and I was listening to Christmas music...another favorite.
I was singing along with the carols when the phone rang.
I jumped over boxes, tiptoed around ornaments and ducked under the ladder to answer the phone.
It was my nurse from the infertility clinic.
She said: Hi Erin.
I nervously asked: whats the word?
She gently said: Negative.
I thanked her.
I walked to the living room and went back to work on our tree.
I hung up a few ornaments ignoring what I just heard...but within seconds I fell to my knees and began to cry.
I cried tears of sadness, frustration, loneliness, and confusion.
Why was this happening?
Fast forward to present day:
I was pulling out the Christmas boxes and started to decorate the family room.
I was working on the mantel specifically.
I was unpacking the stocking holders when I started to cry.
I was on the hunt years ago for specific silver picture frame stocking holders.
My mom came across some at Aaron Brothers.
She called me and said she found what I had been searching for.
She asked how many I wanted.
I told her 6.
2 for Romney and I and 4 for our future kids(not knowing I was infertile).
For Y E A R S I have only pulled out 2 stocking holders for Romney and I.
But this year I pulled out 3.
3 stocking holders...for MY mantel.
I cried tears of joy, gratitude, and love.
I know exactly the answer to my pleading "WHY" many years ago.
We just had to wait for Miles.
He has been worth all the tears, and sadness we had to go through.
look; there are three stockings hung with care.
And it doesn't even matter how long it took.
ALL WORTH IT!
ALL OF IT!
I am grateful that my longest days of sadness were during the Christmas season.
I was able to focus on the birth Jesus Christ,
and through Him,
my tears of sadness have been replaced with such JOY.